Today marks one week until my journey begins so I figured I should start writing for the sake of those that I love (that are more nervous than I am about this adventure). I have contemplated ways to begin this blog to ensure you that I know what I am doing but honestly, it is a work in progress.
It has been a long time since I wrote something for me. Not the world, not for even the future me. This... all of this.. is for the present me. With all doubts aside, I am making this journey to improve myself in order to make the utmost impact in the lives of others. To truly find my worth in this ticking time bomb of a body. Regardless of the fact I am terrified to leave my family, especially my elders, and my home that I am very attached to (the house that my father's spirit closely watches over) for several months. I have never been the kind of person that handles change well and honestly, it is always in the back of my mind-- what if something bad were to happen while I'm gone? What if...? What if...? In times of doubt, I remind myself of detachment. If you truly love someone/something, let it go... I remind myself how short this life can be and to soak it in, enjoying each moment with those I love. I remind myself that this world is change and that if something is to happen, it will happen no matter where I am present.
Time is short but that's alright. Maybe I'll go out in the middle of the night. Take your hands from your eyes, my love. Everything must come to an end sometime. Don't burn the day away.
- Dave Matthews Band
A week from today, I will board my first of many planes to Oakland, California where I will spend some time at Mount Tamalpais State Park, indulging in the wonders of nature with two of my favorite people (my best friend Sean Merillat and my (not-so) baby cousin Paul McCallum). But that is just the sweetest cherry on top of this enlightening, spiritual journey I will embark on.
On February 4, Janessa (my Bower Haus sister) and I will board my third plane to Munich, Germany and then onwards to Mumbai, India. After meeting up with our friend Kelli Palaka at the Mumbai airport, we will spend time in Sanjay Gandhi National Park before heading to the beautiful Goa, India. Then we will travel across the country to the holy city of Varanasi! We are blessed with the opportunity to live on Gopalpur Farm ~2 hours outside of Varanasi where we will be surrounded by the beauty of Uttar Pradesh. Hanging out with cows, orchards, very old indigenous trees, herb gardens, and aromatic gardens. A young farmer's/animal lover's paradise and a chance to support the local community via organic farming practices.
During March, I will return to the beloved Shanti Ashram in Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu, India and reunite with people that are very dear to my heart (while my friends backpack the Annapurna Ciruit in Nepal). Hopefully visit the hill station of Ooty for a few days too. I imagine this month will be the hardest I will endure as I will be on my own. For an independent American woman who likes to explore and venture into the world, I must be extra cautious as I will be the most vulnerable when I am alone. Do not fear. I will be in good hands with a friend's family who live near the Ashram.
And lastly, April, I will meet back up with a motley crew in Bangkok, Thailand to continue our spiritual journey on a quest for self love and self discovery. We will venture to Siem Reap, Cambodia to witness the beauty of Angkor Watt and most likely live on a lavender farm in southern Thailand for a few weeks.
If there is one thing I have learned from several months of planning, it is that there is endless places in the East that I want to see and would need a lifetime to see even half of them. However, we are limiting ourselves to ensure our safety and comfort along this journey. Regardless, it will surely be a trip to remember--threes month of pure spiritual and mental growth.
Excerpt from a journal entry dated Sept. 27, 2014
All my life, I have been a people pleaser... always concerned about letting others down and putting their needs before my own. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing I love more than helping others, but I am finally taking some good advice and doing something for myself.
Since I started studying Hinduism and Buddhism a few years back, I have come to realize that once I find self love, my true potential will surface and my ability to give back to communities across the globe will greatly increase. This was a hard concept to wrap my head around at first because it can be a struggle to escape from the fast paced lifestyle that is all around me. The drive to be wealthy and work 60+ hours a week for a job I hate was never a desire of mine. I always had a deep love for experiencing how the rest of the world lives... the simplicity and timelessness of the East will always fascinate me and I will embrace this lifestyle every day I am there. Living in the present, living one day at a time.
Seeing as this is turning into word vomit, I will sign off. I am not sure how often I will be able to blog, let alone have access to internet but I will surely try my best to check in from time to time. I am so grateful to have this opportunity and my heart goes out to all those that are opening their homes and arms to me the next three months! Peace and love to all.
No comments:
Post a Comment